A Reminder to myself...

How to be A Happy Mom (By Heather Ann Johnson)

Stumbled this interesting article in my google reader and found many more wonderful write-ups from this writer (Heather) on parenting tips.  Here's the link to her blog "familyvolley"


Since the beginning of time, all of mankind has had something in common, we want to be happy. I know I want to be happy. My greatest happiness and joy comes from my family. Receiving awards, recognition, money, doesn’t compare to the feelings I have when our daughter learned to ride her bike without training wheels or when I saw the smile on our son’s face when he worked side by side with his dad on his pinewood derby car. But, if I am not careful, the stress of taking care of others and managing family life overshadows the happy and leaves me sad and miserable. It doesn’t have to be this way. This plan of family life is meant to be a happy plan.

Here are 8 things that Happy Moms have in common.
1. Happy Moms Avoid Comparisons As mothers and women we have a tendency to compare ourselves to others. If we want to be happy, we have to stop. We are usually comparing our weaknesses and shortcoming to someone else’s strengths. It is not a fair comparison. And, when we compare, we foster feelings of jealousy and envy. Those feelings will make us miserable. There will always be someone skinnier, with a cleaner house and with kids that seem more behaved. Always. SO what…comparing will not make us skinner, or our house cleaner. Don’t waste energy on comparing. It is the same with our children. Don’t compare our kids to others. When we do, we miss all the magic that is in each of our own children. We overlook how wonderful and unique they are. And we put unfair pressure on them. When we find ourselves longing for someone else’s life, sit down with a piece of paper and pen and start listing all the things you are thankful for. List all the blessings in your life. When you feel yourself starting to compare again, get out the paper and re-read all that you are thankful for. We will quickly realize how blessed we really are. The other thing we can do to stop the comparing is to serve others. Serving others brings humility and helps us recognize our many blessings. Lastly, we have to be careful with social media. It is easy to read about all the recipes and refinished furniture and beautifully sewn cloths and feel inadequate. Just because we don’t do all those things, doesn’t mean we are less. Nor should we compare ourselves to all the “ideal” posts we read.
2. Happy Moms Recognize Their Worth. There comes a time when we have to accept ourselves, as is. We need to love ourselves. Instead of wondering what we are good for, we need to know that our role is THE most important role. We are raising and influencing future generations. We are primarily responsible for nurturing little human beings. It doesn’t get more important than that. Even if we don’t have children of our own, there is nothing that compares to a women’s loving influence. Take a minute and write down all the things that you are good at. Don’t be shy, write them down. Maybe you are a good friend, patient, a talented seamstress, or creative. Own them, find strength in your strengths and use them to help others. The sooner we can recognize our true worth, the happier we will be.
3. Happy Moms Choose Good Friends. We are quick to preach this to our children, but do we realize how important it is for us. We need to surround ourselves with people who lift us up, who believe in us, and who support us. Avoid relationships that are one sided and draining. We want friends who don’t compare, who revel in our successes and who believe in lifting others up, not putting others down. That is also the type of friend we want to be for others.
4. Happy Moms Have Faith and Pray The act of being faithful, in and of itself raises our spirits and gives us hope. Hope is happy and healing. Couple that hope with prayer and the sun will shine happy rays. :) Even on the worst of days, having faith that we are trying our best and that tomorrow will be better, can help us feel happy today. Prayer can help us lead happier lives also. It gives us a chance to express gratitude and ask for help. When we pray, be specific. Yesterday I prayed that I could be more creative with our 3 year old. Lately she has wanted me to play zoo, and make animal sounds. Sometimes that is hard for me, so I asked for help. Pray for more time with your family, pray for stamina to get through a long day. Sometimes my prayers are that I can get through the next 15 minutes. Happy moms have faith. For me, faith helps because I know that I am never alone.
5. Happy Moms Make Time For Themselves As mothers and women, we tend to take care of ourselves last. I have caught myself more than once saying “when the kids are older then I will have time for….”. We need to stop thinking like that. We should find some time for ourselves to cultivate our gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn to do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. It is not selfish.
6. Happy Moms Simplify We need to clean up and clear out. Take a look at your schedule and make sure it is not too full. Don’t over schedule our kids, or ourselves. Juggling a million things doesn’t make us better moms with cooler kids. It just stresses us out. We are not happy when we are stressed. Our kids only need one or two extra activities, same with us as moms. We should simplify our homes also. Too many clothes and toys in our homes and cars add stress. It can become overwhelming to manage so much stuff. Simplify. Cut down to what is manageable and spend less time keeping up with all the stuff, and more time with those you love, doing things you want to do and being happy.
7. Happy Moms Stop Worrying I am very guilty of this. I am a worrier. It causes stress, and then I am not happy. It will take practice, but think about it this way: If you can’t change it or control it, then there is no need to worry about it. Instead think about what you can control and put your efforts there. The other thing we can do to stop worrying is to turn off the news. I watch the news filled with all the negative and horrible and I worry more.
8. Happy Moms Smile and Laugh Smiling and laughing naturally brings happiness. Let your face light up and let out a giggle. In fact, smile at someone else and watch their face light up. We can get so rushed and serious that we forget to be happy. So even if you have to force it at first, smile.

RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU ARE A HAPPY MOM?

WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU ADD TO THE LIST?

(I Want To) Come Home by Paul McCartney

The Lyrics ( I want to) Come Home by Paul McCartney

For so long I was out in the cold,
and I taught myself to believe every story I told.
It was fun hanging onto the moon, heading into the sun,
but it's been too long. Now I wanna come home.
 Came so close to the edge of defeat.
But I made my way in the shade, keeping out of the heat.
It was fun shooting out of the stars, looking into the sun,
but it's been too long. Now I wanna come home.
 Home. Where's there's nothing but sweet surrender,
to the memories from afar.
Home. To the place where the truth lies waiting,
we remember who we are.
 For too long I was out on my own.
Every day I spent trying to prove I could make it alone.
It was fun hanging onto the moon, heading into the sun,
but it's been too long. Now I wanna come home.
Home.

For so long I was out in the cold,
but I taught myself to believe every story I told.
It was fun hanging onto the moon heading into the sun,
but it's been too long. Now I wanna come home.


Yeah, it's been too long, now I want to come home.
Been too long, now I want to come home.

Quotes of the day!

Just for Moms out there!

A good reminder for myself too..

Remember to take time for yourself. You are no good to your kids if you are just a frazzled mess. A little time for yourself will pay big dividends in the quality of attention you can give your family.

Meaningful Speech by Anna Quindlen (Pulitzer Prize Winner)!

This was a speech made by Pulitzer Prize-winning author, Anna Quindlen
at the graduation ceremony of an American university where she was
awarded an Honorary PhD. Sangat best ucapannya..do read on...this text was sent by a good friend of mine via email.

“I’m a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know. Don’t
Ever confuse the two, your life and your work. You will walk out of here
this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. There will be
hundreds of people out there with your same degree: there will be
thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you will
be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your
particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your
life on a bus, or in a car, or at the computer. Not just the life of
your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank accounts but
also your soul.

People don’t talk about the soul very much anymore. It’s so much easier
to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is cold comfort
on a winter’s night, or when you’re sad, or broke, or lonely, or when
you’ve received your test results and they’re not so good.

Here is my resume: I am a good mother to three children. I have tried
never to let my work stand in the way of being a good parent. I no
longer consider myself the centre of the universe. I show up. I listen.
I try to laugh. I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make
marriage vows mean what they say. I am a good friend to my friends and
they to me. Without them, there would be nothing to say to you today,
because I would be a cardboard cut out. But I call them on the phone,
and I meet them for lunch. I would be rotten, at best mediocre at my job
if those other things were not true.

You cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all you
are. So here’s what I wanted to tell you today: Get a life. A real life,
not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger pay cheque, the
larger house. Do you think you’d care so very much about those things if
you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump in your breast?

Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on
a breeze at the seaside, a life in which you stop and watch how a
red-tailed hawk circles over the water, or the way a baby scowls with
concentration when she tries to pick up a sweet with her thumb and first
finger.

Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who
love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the
phone. Send an email. Write a letter. Get a life in which you are
generous. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you
have no business taking it for granted. Care so deeply about its
goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you would have
spent on beer and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big
brother or sister. All of you want to do well. But if you do not do good
too, then doing well will never be enough.

It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, and our minutes.
It is so easy to take for granted the color of our kids’ eyes, the way
the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again.
It is so easy to exist instead of to live.

I learned to live many years ago. I learned to love the journey, not the
destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today
is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the
world and try to give some of it back because I believed in it,
completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling
others what I had learned. By telling them this: Consider the lilies of
the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby’s ear. Read in the back yard with
the sun on your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal
illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it
ought to be lived”.

positive thoughts

REMEMBER:
Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.
Love the people who treat you correctly.
Forget about the one's who don't.
Believe that everything happens for a reason!
Never take someone for granted.
Hold family close to your heart.
Because you might wake up one day,
And realise that you have lost a diamond,
While you were too busy collecting stones!!

A message every adult should read...

because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say...

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator
and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that
it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me
and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there
is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend
who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to
help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something
should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and
everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities,
even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible
when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and
I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted
to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that
I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say,
'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.'

Each of us(parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher or friend) influences
the life of a child. How will you touch the life of someone today?