Happy 10th year old burfday dd!

HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY TO OUR LITTLE GUY DD... Even though you aren't so little any more... umur dah masuk 10 tahun but you are still my cheeky little boy..You have a temper like no other! If you don't get your way you say "tak nak bagii..takpelaahh and you would whined and threw tantrum like nobody's business!" it's super cute :) time masa kecik..tapie bila dah besar..it is not a pretty sight..Walaupun mama & dd selalu gaduhh..I just want u to know that I love u with all my heart!! Mama love it..bila tiap2 malam time nak tido Dd  would come to salam mama and asked me to kissy2 your cheek & forehead and give you a big bear hug..tu yang mama cair tuuu..tapie besok kita gaduh balik heheh..

On your 10th burfday thought of making another round of ice-cream cake with this little soccer guy as the cake topper tapie..rasanyer not a good idea sebab lily demam & at the same time Mama just realized the fondant boy punyer kaki sudaa tercabut. Penat mama & Dd mengentel fondant sesama thought of doing a soccer theme cake..nampaknyer you have to settle with this one homemade chocolate cake. As for birthday present... you already received a new white bike menggantikan old bike budak kecik yg dah  rusty from papa...other than that kita tunggu papa belanja makan. Mama punyer special wish to you this year ialah ...may you continue rajin dengan persekolahan and kurangkan geram, tantrum dan tingkatkan prestasi LOL..mama doakan yg terbaik untuk anak mama ...

*muka cheeky masa tahun 1*

*circa 2001* (adly & dd)

Happy Happy Birthday!!! We LOVE YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH!!! :)

LOVE- Papa, Mama, Abg Adly, Lily & Myra

Blood Went Skyrocketing!

Today my blood went skyrocketing. Dd hates me when I screamed but I hate him for screaming at his sister & brother or cried merengek2 for no apparent reasons. Dahlaah bangun lambat pukul 12noon baru Dd bangun, then mandi seminit, grabbed towel, turned on the tap, shut the door then keluar terus pakai baju. Rambut pun kering jer. I asked him to go back to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. Instead any dutifully son would do..he started to get cranky & tantrum and questioned me..Mana ada satu minit? Lebih satu minit laa..and bla..bla..blaa.when he started the bla..he will mentioned stale stories of yesterday or 1 week ago masa I flashed my anger yg mana mama pun dah lupa ape bende.Dd memang kuat menjawab unlike Adly.  I just ignored him with a clenching teeth tahan geramm..spoiled mood betul. Then a few hours later..he started again..this time screamed kat Lily suruh budak tadika tu angkat pinggan yang dia dah habis makan sebab tolong tengok the youngest sister. Since when boleh makan depan TV? Then he screamed again and babbled that his sister is lazy, on and on..tambah pulak dengan baby tiba2 menangis. Masa nih..so sorry Mama dah tak boleh tahan..I came near to him nak suruh diam tapie he ran away..mahu 3x saya pusing itu meja makan sebab nak pergi dekat dia..cepatt pulak budak ni larii..the rest jadik blurr..he screamed..I screamed..gosh what happened to me ahh? ni ada yg kena enrol course 'anger management nih' astaghfirullahalaziimm! Nasib baik mama bukan jenis pukul or cubit-mencubit kalau takk memang habihh si Dd nih.

Everybody's Fine on HBO!

Watched this movie on HBO the other day. I watched it twice and 2x keluar airmata!  Watched it not because  the stars were Drew Barry More & robert de niro.. but for the emotions that it carries..I have four kids, and sometimes (well, ok, maybe a lot of time) I can be critical, always tell them what to do. The oldest especially worries me; he got the most of my nagging, and the second one pun sama jugak he is always quiet in front of people and always drawing and playing.  Sometimes i am afraid he won't be able to be independent when he grows up. He won't appreciate what I push him to do or why did I push him to do it. This movie is really an eye-opener for me and ditambah plak lagii dengan soundtrack lagu from Paul McCartney entitled " I want to (come home) lagii laa buat saya sedeyy ! Just imagine bila sudaa tuaa..and hidup sorang..I was so moved bilaa..the dad asked his kids " Why didn't you tell me?" Why is it so easy to talk to your Mom?,"

 " You should have told me!"..and came the kids reply.."We are not sure whether you can handle it dad"! I'm Sorry! "You always seemed not happy..with us.." Wow..lagi banyak airmata saya turun..

Little Garden Overhaul!

This is arwah bapak's little garden. In relatively little time masa balik kampung for hari raya for about a week...this garden has overgrown and ada 'pest' buat rumah unofficially under the bark of the palm's tree. That little pest make its' home sweet home by gathering the soils and pebbles and formed somewhat that look like a little hill to me and siap ada 3 lubang entrance lagik. Mula-mula ingatkan the kiddos yg dok hilangkan batu2 putih yg telah disusun by arwah bapak rupanyer2 kerja some big rodents. Gila punyer besar. Kucing pun lalu jerr. Terkejut badak..besarnya cam badan kucing ekkkk...so geli..! Then we called DBKL to get rid of the pest. It took about more than 2 weeks baru depa mai bubuh racun. I dah resah giler. Punyer lama...I didn't do any gardening work sebab takut. Nak buang sampah pun boleh phobia. Dah jadik cam routine pulak tunggu lori sampah sebab nak buang sampah punyer pasal. In the end called Mr. Bong from Suria Garden...mintak tolong overhaul garden bapak so that we all senang nak maintain. Tergelakk si Bong...sebab..well..I'm not a green thumb person takat trim & siram2 kasi hidup tuu boleh laa..kalau nak buat re-arrangement or tanam pokok baru I am absolutely clueless.. I do appreciate plants and its beauty tapie kalau suruh nak semai kaa, nak anak kaa, nak tut kaa..I dunno (heheh). Tapie yg paling tak boleh lupa..masa hari overhaul hari tuh..punye ramailaaa..kengkawan bapak..makcik2 and pakcik2 in the car ataupun naik motor dok stop over and asked what's up! Yg lagie tak boleh lupa bila..Tok Ucop..bapak's good friend siap datang and hang around for 20 mins cam panic and asked whether I wanted to demolish garden arwah bapak kaa? Hehehe. Takdelaa begitu sekali..cuma kasi kemas and buang pokok2 yg dah layu & mati and I could see he was so relieved. Manataknyer kenangan manis sebab arwah pagi2 dah sibuk buat gardening kat depan rumah..and angkat tangan kat semua kengkawan dia yg pegi kerja, hantar anak, pegi pasar dan lain2 urusan even postman & gravedigger pun boleh bertanya khabar and sampaikan salam takziah when they got to know kembalinya arwah ke rahmatullah. Al-fatihah. I missed bapak & mom so much!!

When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people. ~Abraham Joshua Heschel

La Mer is Tres' Magnifique!!

Enjoy the original in French by Charles Trenet and English Version by Robbie Williams. My kind of song hehehe...over and over again.

Happy Mother's Day...without a mom

Mother's day without a mom -the title just says it all with how I feel around this day.


My darling mom passed away in 2001 (about 8 years ago) after battling with cancer and she was only 52.


Mother's day and my Birthday are the roughest one for me as our birthdays were only a day apart from my mom. It just tears me apart. I put on a happy face for my children on Mother's day but I have to take a moment by myself to have a cry, to be alone flipping thru' my mom's photos and only God knows how I feel... I miss her so much and wish to hug her even it is just for a moment in my dreams.


All these years later and I still cry like a baby ...


I know that my children noticed my puffy eyes the whole day today and I just cover it up by saying that I am soo...overwhelmed with happiness. They must think that I am crazy for crying over a handmade card till Dd said something like," Apasal Mama nangis? Ohhh! Dd tahu mesti sebab..cantik sangat and Mama terkejut sebab kita gantung kat pintu bilik...bukan kat fridge. Yelaa tuh lagie laa Mama rasa mau nangiss !! Hugs to everyone who's mom is no longer with you...this goes to Kak Sal in Klang, Kak Zam in Milan, Ju in KL, Let us remember our beloved arwah with Al-Fatihah. I know you will be reflecting on so many things - a lifetime of memories. I know you will feel sadness but I hope there is also happiness, calm and peace in your life right now di samping keluarga tersayang serta anak-anak.

Rindunyer..kat Tokwan

Yeayy! We are going to Penang this weekend!

It's been ten years we did not see the amazing stilted kampong houses, coconut palms and the leisurely pace of kampong life and the kampong houses no longer look likes the old times when we once experienced as a child. Ohh! how I missed those times eventhough I can remember how I hated the sounds of cengkerik and the sight of kumbang pokok kelapa it is soo damn huge hehehe and I can still remember how my cousins love to tease me with the belalang and other crawlies insects and I can still remember that crazy flock of geese that always hang out near Tok's house. One grey goose gave me a chase once I went for 'mandi' at a neighbour's house and make me left trails of clothes, toothbrush, soap and undies along the way. I remembered the time when I played masak-masak with my cousins and started to boil some kind of leaves and the some kind of 'tea' smells suddenly attracted some 'kambings' all my cousins lari selamatkan diri and left me all alone encircled by all the goats Tok's house was an old attap house in Kg Seronok Penang. Back in those days it did not have a proper bathroom nor toilet so..I had a few of uncomfortable memories evertime wanting to go to the loo and my encountered with a big brown eyes. It was the goat again!! Peeping through the hole of a makeshift toilet. But my most fond memories was waking up in the morning, dengar bunyi kokokan ayam and start tolong bukak tingkap2 kayu yang banyak and oh! the smells of Kopi Hang Tuah, Biskut Kering and Roti Bakar and then every lunch the smell of delicious curry, ikan kering and sambal belacan were just so... heavenly!

Yg most proud moments biler balik jeeh arwah Tok would point to a big mango tree next to the old house. Usia pokok mangga tu sama usia dengan umuq cheq and Tok had planted it when I was born. Now Tok's House cuma ada dlm lipatan kenangan. How I wished I could go back there and tell my children how fun and how lovable Tok was with all her grandchildrens. It is so nostalgic. Well..I missed my arwah Tok, arwah Tokwan Darus and arwah Pakngah Lan. Well anyway it is nice to be able to see all the not so young cousins again at the wedding and I am sure that they are putting up some tents for the wedding at Tok's old house where it were once stood. This time around boleh laa show around eksyen sikit to my kiddos showing off pokok-pokok besak yg Tok tanam, some plants and some four legged animal live tapie jarak jauh laa kang kena kejar tak pasal-pasal. I wish I had the old scooter 'pasola' best giler bawak keliling kampung or Tok Wan's Darus old antics bike kaler black. Pedal punyerlaa keras nak kayuh lol.

Hop Off from the Wedding Merry-Go-Round!

I miss my long abandoned blog and the reason I was on a blog hiatus...well.. I am all drained having nights after nights devising plan B, C and D for my one and only sister's wedding for the past six months till her big day. Eat, Drink, Sleep everything center on the wedding things and it was amazing too to see how much energy had sucked out of you in the run-up process to throw a wedding. Even the little one has learned the magical password "ohh! Lily cannot touch this yeaa Mama..It is for Achu's Tawen (kawen? yeah?)" hahaha.We are so happy, feel so blessed and grateful that most of our relatives, friends and families came to the wedding and not forgetting our late parents good friends (kak Long, Kak Liza, Uncle Brahim-of Utusan and others) I just cannot thank them enough for their thoughtfulness and efforts to attend. I was overwhelmed with sad and happy feelings during the wedding and tears on my cheek whenever the relatives mentioned about our parents. I never knew that I would cried at my sister's wedding.I never felt so much relief now! The urge to buy and borrow bridal magazines, surfing online for wedding tips, reading the do's & dont's, where to get favors, cakes, flowers and stuff, or even read someone else's wedding was no longer there. Terasa legaa..Whew! I am so glad its over and now it is the time to concentrate and assist the kiddos and their schoolwork yg dah lama neglect. H.A.P.P.Y but at the same time missing my younger sister's face yg sometimes kena babbled, kena marah and here I was hoarding at her computer hehe what a bliss!

Finally! Whew..a nice blogskin

Hello everybody! Finally our mama found a perfect blogskin for our blog. Had been living in the "mary had a little lamb' blogskin for a year and now after some tweaking here and there...*giggles* we are so happy with these layouts! ahhh at last! Have a nice day everybody.

Mama's Cookies Attempt!

Mama aka me last year cookies attempt was a complete disaster! I'm a novice baker what to do!! so don't blame me! He he he.
I went to buy all the nitty-gritty stuff for baking as if she gonna open a bakery! The only loyal person who could nibble the cookies although the cookies tasted horrible (*tak cukup manis, rasa sepesen) was our dear Tokwan hahah siap bagi nice compliments " Mmm bolehh laa..boleh makan". Papa pulak refused dok kata..later! later!
The two boys pulak ran at the sight of me when I carried out the tray and was calling them rupanyer hidding themselves in their room. Anyway..today ehm..this year Mama baked  these lovely & delicious cookies called Vanilla Kipferl with the help from Opah PD. Well..mama has succeeded! Yipeee!! No more bad cookies!!

Dream ~Digital LOs



*credits*
Background Paper~Scraplift from Digichick Member Galleria
Scroll On Stamp by Rhonna Ferrer

 Had lunch cum tea breaks @ Big Ben, Ikano after our CNY Visitation to relatives house. Selalunya kalau pergi CNY visitation they will only servesd light refreshments macam festive cookies, drinks, yeesang, snacks and simple desserts unlike Hari Raya terlampau kekenyangan..sebab every house served heavy...semua menu utama macam ketupat, Pulut, Rendang, Soto, Mee, the list are endless sampai ketat baju sebab kenyang melampau and mata pun dah takleh bukak heheh...Preparation masak memasak pulak jangan memain..mahunyer sehari semalam takpun 2-3 hari sebelum heheh...that's Malay culture selagi..meja takpenuh dengan hidangan tak sah heheh.. I remembered my Uncle 'matsalleh' yang tension sebab..asyik dok ajak makannn ajerr..walaupun dah jenuh dia menolakk sebab dah kenyang..but being Asians..menolak tu maknanya..dia nakk takpun malu hahah..konpius jer matsalleh tuh. But now my uncle dah pandaii dah..when he says No...that means..No! kekek..

Anywaynyer..The kids had fun.  It was a nice experience for them and it is good bawak2 pergi visitation at least they got to know all their cousins walaupun tak rapat macam we all masa kecik2.  Ada baiknyer pergi ziarah-ziarah..sebab if our parents used to do it.. so can we..Now I know...why...well just let me keep this to myself ajer laah for time being.. Anyway, seeing all the familiar faces again brought back all the sweet memories just like the old days..I know Bapak had a great time borak-borak ngan Uncle Sonny..Patyee and Aunt Amy.. just like when mom was around..bcoz' he has known them all his life...

My wish and hopes for my kids...semoga..they will continue..be there for each other..for any ups and downs as well as keeping our family ties & family traditions together for as long as they lived..dan bersyukur for having each other as friends for life..Insyallah..

When all the Popoh came for a visit!

Today is the first time lily met eye to eye with Cavan, my cousin Karen's first son. Along with the group was Aunty Amy, Aunty Chris, Opa Wim & Pat Yee. How my children need to address all my aunty and uncle pun kinda hard because mama pun boleh confused haha.
The last visit..lily was still a tiny baby. It was great to meet up with Cavan sebab sebaya. He's cool! Then we left the house for lunch at TBMC while papa stayed home watching the kids and little baby. It was great to see all my aunts again and Oh! how I miss my late mom..because they are sisters so they are much alike in terms of personality...so bubbly, wisdom, wits and warmth..there's always laughter, jokes and stories when you hang out with them...I am so glad to be in this family of mine...not quite malay and not quite chinese soo..I'm in the middle...hahah

Mama's Cookies Attempt

This year 'mama' or me, myself, yours truly heheh vows will get my hands dirty, no fear and sweat to try my hands at baking..kekeke barang2 keperluan sumer sudaa belii...Well hopefully...it turns out well. Anyway...Papa my dear hubby mocked me by having a few readymade cookies instant mixes on hand in case everythings turned out bad and awry. hahaha apa daaa.  I just love ramadhan month the house atmosphere seemed so different...everybody are bustling with their own activities. My beloved dad or fondly known as tokwan will be busy with his 'surau ritual' and his 'teh-tarik gangs' everytime lepas terawih..papa with his buddies, and the kiddos will be sibuk to tag along to surau and put aside their school homeworks etc..and every day not just this special year...my mind keep on vividly shown image of my beloved arwah mom..macamana dia selalu sibuk prepare itu ini..and our last raya together when she already on wheelchair bound. Arwah mom passed away on the fifth raya .....Al-Fatihah to arwah mom that is always in my heart...